The Myth of Want It All

One problem of mine, well a very big one, is that I want to do it all. There are a lot of things I want to try, a lot of jobs I want to do, a lot of fields I want to embark on and a lot of places I want to go. If ambition was a crime, I would receive a death penalty for sure. The myth of doing it all partly explains my obsession with efficiency and my indecisiveness sometimes.

Well, I consider efficiency in almost everything I do, even cooking. I prioritize things to do to minimize time to the best I can: doing this first, this latter, doing this while waiting for that blah blah blah… And I usually have a book in my kitchen to read why I wait for something to be fully cooked. Well it’s probably because I don’t like cooking, thats why I minimize cooking time so that I have time doing other things. However, my obsession with efficiency probably peaks with my education. I graduated with a 4-year bachelor within 2 years. I studied a lot of classes at the same time and I felt happy with the pressure I had during that time. Until now I cant understand why I had such that high motivation to do that. But at the time, I just felt it was not enough challenging to graduate in 4 years. I hate wasting time. Well, there is one thing. I do not consider sleeping wasted time. I sleep a lot during the day, and I’m definitely a night person so that makes sense.

And my decisiveness!!! I guess I just want to do so many things. And the ugly truth is that I can’t do everything I can. For every decision, I consider the opportunity cost. And of course, for a person with such high ambition for that myth, the opportunity cost is almost always high. That’s why I usually take a lot of time making decision. The other thing is that I hate regretting. It’s the worst feeling ever. So, I need to make sure that I’ll make a decision that later I’ll not beat myself up for it.

Yeah I think they need to have some kind of prison or some kind of center curing this disease…

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